Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
