Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
that may or may not have been my penis.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
