thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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