You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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