I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
