I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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