so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Found the puke drawer
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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