THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
