Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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