Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize