We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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