there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
