you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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