Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I have aggressive nipples.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
