if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
