So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
ttyl tear gas
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
