life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
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HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
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so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Damn victory sex feels great
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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