In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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