First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
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She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
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Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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