That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
