Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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