: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
