i need an iv and a liver transplant
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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