we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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