I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
