they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
