Me too!
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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