just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
We don't watch enough power rangers
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
not ubering you a puppy
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
