NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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