Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
