I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
