sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
