I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
