Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
