oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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