dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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