your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
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I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
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I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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