just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
