i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
