Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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