Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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