He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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