well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
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The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
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Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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