I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
