we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
