I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
