you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
