Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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