she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Randomize
