Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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