I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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