he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
