I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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