Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
