I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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