Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
