Non-Jews are for practice
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
