I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
