He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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