Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
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Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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